Posted by: doggings | April 10, 2009

Evolution says Dinner = Sex

Here’s a piece that made the dog chuckle today, mainly because it will no doubt annoy feminists everywhere, but also because we can now clearly see this is how things are supposed to be,  speaking  in evolutionary terms of course.

Women, when you’re taken out to dinner, you have to put out.

Scientists have observed Chimps making “meat for sex” deals whereby the males return with the spoils of a days hunter gathering, and the females get fed and then give it up.

Researchers have confirmed that male chimpanzees who share meat with females mate twice as often as those who prefer to keep their food to themselves.

These “meat for sex” deals, observed among chimps in Ivory Coast by Dr Cristina Gomes and colleagues from the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, are significant because they’re “long-term” arrangements: Males will share meat from hunting expeditions with females even when they’re not in oestrus, thereby increasing the possibility of copulation when they are.

Dr Gomes suggested the findings might offer insights into human evolution. The team’s report specifies: “Similar studies on humans will determine if the direct nutritional benefits that women receive from hunters in foraging societies could also be driving the relationship between reproductive success and good hunting skills.”

Of course women in general, and feminists in particular , delude themselves that they are not even animals, they are “human” (which is not a mammal and therefore not an animal, obviously) and that civilization (yada yada yada) means that none of this is significant anymore, because we as a species have moved on past this primitive (but obviously effective through millions of years of survival needs) way of the males looking after the females.

Well guess what ladies, we haven’t, and we wont be any time soon (in evolutionary terms, things take a long time to change)’ll still be getting bent over after dinner when we’re bringing home the Zargburgers in our intergalactic space cruisers while you sit at home gossiping about each other and fantasizing about different hunter gatherers.

And don’t even think about asking if you can take the cruiser to the hairdressers, face it ladies,  women’s evolutionary role is not driving… 😉


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